Have you ever wondered why the snooze button on an alarm clock is so big? A design feature you might take for granted, but at some point in the evolution of the alarm clock the snooze feature must have first been conceived and secondly, it must have been enhanced for optimal accessibility. For years, the snooze button was something I took for granted. A comfort feature, nay a tool I used to eke every millisecond of sleep from the night before. Every morning, without fail, my arm would shoot out from underneath the doona, and miraculously, with eyes still closed, I will hit the button which admittedly takes up two thirds the size of the clock. Often, I do not even remember doing so, at least until the third repeat. Talk about enhancing my wake-up efficiency, by snoozing to the extremes. That is certainly a contradiction. The question we need to ask however, is the invention and optimisation of the snooze button a stroke of genius? Or is it a nefarious tool used to keep the masses drowsy, confused and perpetually late (for nothing in particular, might I add). Hold your horses, its just a bloody snooze button on an alarm clock, not some evil genius’ plan for world domination. Or so you might think.
Surely anything designed to keep us in bed longer is worth celebrating. The simple fact that I can reach out reflexively in my sleep and hit the snooze button without even waking up is a problem. Now I know many of you will rely on that mobile phone of yours for an alarm clock, which is perfectly normally, I guess. But three years ago, I made the decision to stop charging my phone in the bedroom. In fact, the only time I bring my phone into my bedroom is if I am doing a meditation (remember how I told you I was voted the most granola out of my friends – of course you don’t, no one reads this blog). What is the reason for no phone? Well as you can imagine, the number of messages and calls from admiring readers means my phone is constantly vibrating. How would I ever get to sleep? Turn vibration off I hear you say. Well where is the fun in that. Whilst I realise that a digital alarm clock by its nature is digital and still electronic, it does not bring with it the same stress inducing, dopamine creating, fight or flight response as a notification from your mobile phone. Which, combined with the screen light, conspire against my wishes of settling down to a nice, soothing slumber.
Nothing but classical
Besides, I can tune my alarm clock into ABC Classical FM and wake up to the soothing sounds of Beethoven. Who wouldn’t want to continue snoozing to that? However, recently something has changed. I have been making a conscious effort to wake-up before 5 am each morning. I am trying to build a morning routine. But every time I hit the snooze button, it takes me further and further away from my goal. I wake up instead with a pang of disappointment, its 6:30 am, I’ve snoozed 9 times straight and now I don’t have time to exercise. I’ve let myself down, again. Recently, I read some words that solidified the concept of the snooze button being the devil in disguise. To paraphrase, it was a quote about choice. Waking up at 5 am is not an obligation, it is a choice. It is something I get to do. Waking up in the morning is a choice. Unless of course you cannot wake up, but you wouldn’t know about that I suppose.
We have a conundrum
I get to wake up each morning is a different way of looking at things. Something I have never really considered too deeply before. Sure, sure I can hear your disputes, that sounds like some positive thinking bullshit. But bear with me whilst I explain. You see, most mornings when the alarm sounds, well not most mornings, the mornings where I am somewhat conscious when the alarm sounds, the thought pattern is usually, why do I have to get up, why do I have to go to work, why do I have to…and so the cycle continues. I cry out to myself, I am not ready to face the day. I am not ready to throw off the warm covers and embrace the cold hard realities of life. I mean how pathetic does that seem. Now the reframe I am talking about is incredibly simple. Rather than thinking it of something that you have to do, think of it as something you get to do. Move the power from someone else (not sure who), to yourself. Realise the opportunity in the simple fact you get to put your feet back on terra firma and get on with living life. Ah yes, I can see the flaw in the argument. But when the alarm sounds, hitting the snooze button is not something I have to do, it is something I get to do. Now we have a conundrum.
Just a toasty cinamon bun
To solve the conundrum, think about how good you truly feel hitting snooze 15 times before eventually waking up? Its akin to suffering self-defeat 15 times before you even start your day. The constant jolt every 7, 10, 15 minutes, whatever your snooze is set to, for your brain it must be like headbutting a brick wall, except the bricks are pillows. That surely has to send our nervous system into overdrive. Here’s a better solution, just set the alarm 30 minutes or an hour later, enjoyed your sleep and wake up when you actually need to. The issue for me though, is I wanted to get up that little bit earlier. Except somewhere through the night, it went from something I wanted to do, morphing into something I must do. Having to do anything is not fun. At the same time, that snooze button got magically bigger. Now I get to push it because I get to snooze. Mm the choice is easy when wrapped under the doona like a toasty cinnamon bun.
A different button to button
So, I will posit this; is the opportunity of getting up and embracing the day on your own terms more powerful than clinging on to the last morsels of groggy sleep? We fight the morning like we will never again get the opportunity to rest our weary heads on that pillow. Far easier to curl up into the foetal position and nurse ourselves back into dream land. What then, is the answer? A suggestion, instead of a snooze button, all alarm clocks should come with a Get the Fuck Up button. Own the Day Button or a Get Busy Living button. Whatever you want to call it. The purpose of which was not to silence the alarm for 10 minutes, but to increase the volume and annoyingness until you just could not shake it anymore? Somehow, I do not think a clock such as this would sell too highly (just in case it does, patent pending). At least though, the snooze button would move from devil in disguise to just plain devil. But better the devil you know, I always say.